Happy *Almost* New Year Everyone!!!
It feels so amazing to write on this platform again- and I don’t know what took me so long in the first place, but we can get to that at a later time 🙂
We have finally made it through 2021, and normally people will either do a photo dump on instagram, or some crazy cool time warp thing on tiktok- but in true blog fashion, I’ll do my memory dump here. I mean..why not.
2021 was crazy.
I feel like I was going 100 miles per hour, and never pressed the breaks. So many amazing things came out of 2021, and some really sad realizations came out of it as well. I learned a lot about myself, and my boundaries in 2021, that I feel is really helping me step forward into not only my last year in my 20s, but also my last year in my “singleness”. This blog post might be transparent, and probably triggering, but you never know who you can help by being honest about your experiences. So let’s dive in…
My biggest transition in 2021, was not only moving to a new city, but purchasing a home, and moving basically twice in a 6 month time frame. It was probably the hardest thing that I’ve physically done in my life. I have a STRONG appreciation for people that step out on faith, and move to a new city and basically gear up for their new life. Trust me, it is not easy. I never really “cried” during my move transition, which is odd. But there were moments where I felt a tingle of sadness when I would try my best to be included in things at home, and things wouldn’t quite go my way.
Moving also tested my relationship. Not in a bad way, but when Jay + I purchased our home, it was a different level of exposure. Purchasing our home laid out the framework, to exactly how the rest of our life could be together. And if we don’t have it together now….we got a lot of work to do. It showed that we are a team, and that is the basics of any relationship.
Jay really held me down during this entire moving process, I’m not going to lie. He pushed me into having more tough skin, or not taking things personal. He also really encouraged me to embrace change, even if it is uncomfortable. (News flash, it is uncomfortable!)
All round, moving wasn’t half bad….and we now have something that is OURS.
Photo Credit: TemiLola!
My friendships actually took a dramatic 180 in 2021. People that I didn’t think I would reconnect with, I did and have grown closer than ever. I did lose some friends that I thought would be with my until my future kids went to college…but I have learned that it is completely fine if you lose people while you are on your journey. I don’t necessarily think my friendships were “tested” during 2021, but my vocalization about my feelings in my friendships definitely did. I was never one to really tell any friend that they hurt my feelings. I would normally just vent about it to either my mom or Jay, and then gradually get over it. But this year was different. Because I wasn’t physically close to my friends, I had to over communicate about my feelings, or if something was wrong that I might have misread via text…I had to vocalize that. This was the hardest crap ever. Who wants to tell the people that they love, that they hurt their feelings. It is also extremely uncomfortable. But it has helped me grow TREMENDOUSLY. Now I’m able to articulate my feelings, and make sure that I’m not misreading false actions- or making things up in my mind.
With friendships, you are always going to go through time periods, where things just aren’t “right”. It is not anyones fault, people are growing and evolving, and as a friend- you must grow and evolve with them. Granted, it is always not your problem to ensure that you put your feelings behind to make sure your friends feelings are heard…don’t do that…however, the purpose of adult friendships are to really strive to better each other.
This year was also a weird one in my friend group because 95% of my friends were going through a life change. Whether it was having a baby, getting married, getting engaged, buying a home, dealing with a sickness of a love one, graduating or deciding to go back to school, starting a damn business, and SO MUCH MORE! And the perks of being a bomb friend, is going through all of those life changes with them. No judgement, not nasty comments, just really enjoying being part of your friends journey.
2021 taught me to REALLY enjoy the little moments. I went home to North Carolina more in 2021, then probably my car allowed me too. Actually, my car didn’t allow me, because I had to buy a new car. (LMAO!). I wanted my friends to know, to not leave me out of anything in their journey. I wanted to see it all. And the beauty of that was, when I wasn’t able to make alot of things (especially towards the end of the year), my friends knew my heart and always knew I will always celebrate their wins from afar.
The downside to my lessons on friendships- no one will ever be a friend like you. Sometimes that is a good thing, and sometimes that is really stressful. You have to constantly remind yourself that you’ve been the best that you can be, and if it “ain’t what it is”…release it. Release the negative emotion, release the grudge…and to be honest, release what they did to you in 2017. (It ain’t worth the memory!!!)
Engagement Season/Love Life:
2021 was all about preparing for this wedding. Preparing for the known, the unknown, and everything in between. Our engagement season honestly went so fast, that I just noticed not too long ago, that we have 8 months left…and we still got a long way to go. I will take nothing away from my engagement, proposal, or having the chance to marry the love of my life. From the parties, the proposal boxes, and the little things in between- this has honestly been a great experience to just do it with someone who is my person. My only advice about planning a wedding, and your engagement season- do what you want. I know you’ve heard it before, but for real. We’ve got to the point now, where we don’t even share anything about our wedding, because all it takes is for me to see one persons face scrunch up- and I’m going completely crazy. All the money you are spending to essentially give people a party, they really don’t have much to say *unless you asked them*. Jay + I were already thick as thieves before we were engaged, but being engaged is a whole new level. We are making sure that all of the necessary steps are made, before we say I do. Even though purchasing a house exposes everything…sharing finances exposes more (lmao!). Do things your way, and enjoy them to the best of your ability. My other little piece of advice is, always make sure you are going into decisions with a kind and happy heart. It sounds cheezy, but it has really helped. We have held off on making a few wedding decisions because I wasn’t in a great head space. Whether it be I was homesick, or just stressed out- always make “together”decisions, when both people are in a great, happy, and kind headspace. It makes it easier when you sliding that card too 😉
I can’t wait for 2022, not because of the parties, or all of the celebrating. I can’t wait because I’m going into this year with the mentality “me and you, just us two.” I wouldn’t do this with no one else by my side.
Bayyybeeeeeee!!!! This topic is so triggering, lol! 2021, was the year if you gonna do it- go ahead and do it! In 2021, I’ve made more off of my Instagram/Content Creation that I have ever made. I had major deals with brands, that I didn’t think would even look my way. I met a ton of DMV bloggers through virtual meet ups, and even stepped outside my comfort zone and get some refresher headshots. Even though all of this sounds great…I still feel like I didn’t really achieve anything. I’m always a cup all the way full type of girl, not even half. But I am also realistic. I know why I have reached my full potential, and when I barely scratched the surface. With my content creation and blog, I barely scratched the surface. It normally keeps me up at night knowing that I didn’t post anything, or knowing that gosh- I have 6 blog post that are actually complete, I just havent posted it yet (extra cringey). So 2021, has taught me that if you aren’t reaching your ceiling of potential, it is okay- but understand the “why”, and grow on that.
For me I had alot of things going on, that just kept me down. I was homesick, in a brand new city- where I didn’t know many people (my has that changed lol), I just got a promotion at work and I wanted to navigate that…and I’m a full time grad student. I don’t like making excuses for myself, but damn- that is alot going on. Moving forward to 2022- it is all dedicated to ME. I’m just going to put things out there, just because I like how it looks, not because it is “instagrammable”. I’m going to start being more transparent in my blog posts and Tik Tok mini vlogs, and I’m going to start jumping out of my comfort zone, and being me! (These brands really love when you are, you!). The one beautiful thing that I can say about my content creator journey, I’ve never changed, lmao! I’ve always stayed me, whether that is cute, or girly, or lazy, or whatever…It is me! I’ll never be someone else, just for “likes” or someone to peek my ego. Not happening.
What does this mean for you in 2022? Do that crazy ass idea!!!! Your friends might call it “little” (also, those aren’t your friends, because nothing we do over here is little!), but at least it is YOURS. You need to have something of your own in 2022. Regardless of how many sales you get, or how many brand collaborations. You are only better than your last post/piece sold/person trained/business dollar.
Step out on faith, it will never steer you wrong.
Photos By: VonteShotIt
As we step into 2022, let’s give it our best try. We might not be able to change Covid…but we can definitely change our outlook on life, and how we not only treat others- but treat ourselves. I promise you will see ALOT more of me in 2022, if I can just catch my breath. 😉
Let’s exchange goals, or what are you asking God to change that was troubling you in 2021, but you are ready to release it and go full speed in 2022! Share in the comments, I would love to know!
As always…until next time!